The Purpose Paradox

All our lives we are led to believe we all have a singular purpose to discover, but what if the exact thing we are told to search for does not even exist?

By societal design, we are led to believe that we all have a purpose in life, a form of contribution towards one or more of the "systems:" community, government, [capitalistic] economy, "radical/unconventional paths" (natural wildlife/ecosystem restoration or conservation, humanities & acts of kindness, social justice, the arts), and so on. As we grow and move through the educational system, and in general, many are faced with this pressure to discover what our purpose is. Whether that purpose may be a skill or a calling interest, we are pushed to find and hone those skills so that we may cultivate a future centered around it. Well, the 'Purpose Paradox' is just that, being the paradox is there is no such thing as a purpose in life.

Societal Pressure

As a child, I had a wild imagination and kindled the coals of sparkling interests from biologist and explorer, FBI detective, world traveler and treasure adventurer, to National Geographic journalist and photographer. I wanted to experience it all, every little, beautifully wonderful aspect of this world, and as any kind, loving parent should, my parents encouraged those embers to stay aglow. As children, we are told we can be or do anything we set our minds to. Oh, and you best believe I held onto those words as a guiding torch for many years. It wasn't until around high school when this sudden flip of the script occurred, dynamics shifted, and that torch began to dwindle and burn my outstretched hands (yes, I am a bit dramatic, but you should know this by now).

Anyways, the childhood story becomes that, only a story for children. Now, as teens going on to be young adults, the narrative morphs from one of hope and determination to setting "realistic expectations." The agenda was now to be reasonable and to find our purpose in life to focus on; usually something that could be studied further at a university or as a skill turned into a life-long trade. How absolutely terrifying! I fostered this idea, dream, of experiencing everything I possibly could, but now I am being pushed into choosing a single path to follow for the rest of my [working] days? The concept made absolutely no sense to me. What's worse? At the time it seemed to me that no one else was bothered by this. It truly baffled me by how everyone seemingly knew exactly what "purpose" they were going to pursue after graduation while I was over here with no clue, still trying to figure out once again where I fell behind and had apparently missed the memo. Well, I didn't have any skills, experience, or interests that stood out among the crowd to guide a definitive decision. More honestly, I have TOO many interests and passions to choose just one path, but still the concept didn't sit quite right; I felt that I shouldn't have to choose only once.

How to Find Your Purpose:

Here I am at 23 years-old, so I had to have made a decision by now, right? Haha.... Nope! In short, there is no such thing as a single life-purpose, at least in my books, oh but how liberating! I think we are told children's tales for a reason, because they ring with truth. So, to my inner child (and to all of our inner children, or to those who have yet to "grow up"), we can be and do anything we set our minds and hearts to. As long as we are causing no harm, then why should anyone else care? It is not their business to anyways. We have a whole life to live, and it is up to us to make the most of it! We are entitled to change our minds, to change our course, and to try new ventures. 18-year-old me went to university for business and marketing (mainly for the flexibility of job options the career path offers, but that's a separate story), and I learned some things from the experience, but ultimately, I learned what doesn't suit me.

From there, I set sail in a different direction; however, as life often is unpredictable in nature, a dark storm and turbulent waves knocked me off my course. Granted, I didn't land where I intended, but this challenging period/path in my life has led me to discover new things I may have missed otherwise. Plus, the explorer in me cannot help but look for the magic and adventure in any quest, especially one gone awry. You never know where your journey may take you, not until you take that first step into the unknown. So, I implore you to try new things as much as possible. Devour new hobbies, learn and grow skills, and gain new experiences to discover what sparks a light in your soul... or even more so to learn what things you truly do not enjoy. Your whole life should be a continuous journey of self-discovery for we are all constantly changing and evolving as people, so it is no wonder that the things you loved at 18-years-old may just be what you despise at age 48. I think this may be why there are too many miserable adults out there: they were told to stick with a choice that they may have loved once only to have, at some point, grown out of that love.

Forever Evolving Journey

It is good to have goals to strive towards, but most goals have an end destination that may leave many lost or unsure on where to go from there. Perhaps people would lead more fulfilling lives if they focused more on the journey than the end results. Fall in love with the process of becoming and growing into the person you intuitively are, try new things, explore your complex mind and adventure to different places, learn and continue to grow. By placing higher value on who you want to be, rather than on a "life purpose," life will form around you with surprising turns and sometimes messy heaps, but beautiful nonetheless for it. Open your eyes to the possibilities. Give yourself some grace.

Finding contentment in where you are now, while still contributing to your personal growth and aspirations, will bring you so much peace. And miraculously, as the saying goes, the pieces have a funny way of just falling into place. I have aspirations, some have changed while others remain as dreams from my childhood, and I will work towards them slowly on my own timeframe, nobody else's. Sure, in the beginning of my journey (post university) it was challenging to accept that I haven't achieved all of my expectations, not even close! Looking back now, I can see that my expectations/goals didn't align to the person I have become, or even to who I was at the time. For so long I was moving through the typical chain of events with my eyes closed, doing all of the things or making the decisions I thought I was "supposed" to. It wasn't until my health declined, stripped of everything I identified by, that I realized that we are not defined by our contributions (admittedly, I am still working on this, but it all takes time). You are more than your skills, knowledge, physical capabilities, or a purpose. Being unable to do all of the things I used to be able to, and being forced to slow down and re-evaluate, has ironically been a blessing: it has given me the space to come back to myself, to learn who I am. Knowing myself is now my guiding compass to building a life journey around my passions, values, and my character/spirit. So, there it is, the real truth: our only purpose is to simply live.